Inner Peace after Loss

“THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO LEARN. IT’S THROUGH ACTION. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW YOU HAVE LEARNED THROUGH YOUR JOURNEY.”
PAULO COELHO, THE ALCHEMIST

I am a strong believer in the idea of being a lifelong learner. I believe in taking your personal experiences and using them to learn more about yourself and the world around you. I believe that life is truly a journey and despite the best use of lists and plans, in the majority of cases you just have to go with the flow. I have had plans for my life ever since I was old enough to dream. I dreamed up a fairy tale life – going to school, earning my PhD, falling in love with the perfect guy that loved me just as much as I loved him, having a beautiful wedding and having both sides of our families love and accept each other unconditionally, having a great job, having children, providing them with a life where they did not ever have to need for anything and creating memories and traditions of our own… it all sounded beautiful and wonderful but to quote the words of Robert Burns “the best made plans of mice and men often go awry.”

“THE BEST MADE PLANS OF MICE AND MEN OFTEN GO AWRY.” ~ROBERT BURNS

I do not look back and feel disappointed that my life did not go according to my well thought out plans, as I did in fact marry my “Prince Charming” and my best friend who loves me, supports me and cares for me more than anyone else in my life. He brings me strength when I am weak and joy when I am sad and most of all, he makes me a better person each and everyday. When we lost our daughter this summer he was my rock. There were days that I did not want to get out of bed and he gave me the strength to do so, to move forward each day and to slowly begin the healing process together. The time that has passed since the day we lost our daughter has been a journey in healing and in searching for inner peace and overall emotional, mental, spiritual and physical wellness. Before the loss of my daughter I had created a blog to help promote and educate people on personal health and fitness, but just as life and plans change, your priorities change as well. I see so many people going through life struggling with very difficult and, in some cases, unimaginable circumstances and if I can find a way to help bring healing and peace to anyone who is struggling, I will feel that I am answering a higher calling in the universe. I agree that “Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.”

“PEACE OF MIND IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF CONFLICT FROM LIFE, BUT THE ABILITY TO COPE WITH IT.” ~UNKNOWN

My journey towards inner peace and healing has been short but powerful and I have already learned so much since it began. I have learned that you cannot allow yourself to give up on life or give up on dreams. “The secret of life… is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” – Paulo Coelho. I do not want the struggles that I have been through to give me a permanent negative outlook on the future and what it holds for my life. I do not want to live in fear or sadness, but instead I want to live to honor those that are no longer here beside me. Navigating the loss of my daughter was the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through and during the first few weeks and months following her death I had a realization – I had a choice to make. I could decide to let her death and my feelings of despair and sadness overtake me or I could decide to live to honor her and find peace that she was no longer suffering and peace in the fact that life will continue to move forward and that I want to move forward as well. I knew then, and know now, that I will never get over the loss of my daughter (and I do not want to) but that I CAN heal and I can embrace the person whose life was forever changed by her daughter’s short yet oh so significant life.

“THE SECRET OF LIFE, THOUGH, IS TO FALL SEVEN TIMES AND TO GET UP EIGHT TIMES.”
PAULO COELHO, THE ALCHEMIST

I believe that great loss can allow you to see great beauty where you may once have missed it but I believe you have to make the choice to do so. My husband always used to make fun of me for seeing life through permanent rose colored glasses and for a while I thought that I could never be that way again. All I saw was sorrow, sadness, grey clouds, despair and fear. I had to search deep down to understand that I could still see beauty and love and positive energy surrounding me but I had to make the choice to do so. You can make the choice to move forward, to heal and to find the beauty in the world once again. You can choose to live to honor those you have lost and to embrace the impact that those people had on your life. I am not saying it is an easy choice and you have to be ready. I will continue to share about my journey and what I learn along the way. Be well.

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