I used to ask myself this whenever I thought about being a stay at home wife/homemaker. I even asked myself this when I thought about the idea of being a stay at home mom. I used to think that I wanted to “do it all” – work, be a mom and take care of the home. When we got pregnant with Ryann, it was something my husband and I talked about a lot. My husband grew up with a stay at home mom and my mom was always working at least a part time job (whether it actually made money or not according to my dad…). I grew up being told that women can do it all and be happy but I feel all of those mentors forgot to remind me was that it is still OK if you choose not to try and “have it all”. After finding out that we would be having a little girl, I started having doubts about my plans to be a working mother, I do not know if it was the growing attachment to the life growing inside me or the worry that I couldn’t “do it all” and still be both a good employee AND a good mother and wife. Either way, I started opening up to the idea of being a full time stay at home mom. The more I opened up to the idea, the more I got excited about it…
After we lost Ryann, I lost passion for my career. I thought that if I toughed it out my desire to work would come back. I mean, we had just lost our only child, of course I was going to be in a tough place for a while. I even tried moving to a new position closer to home. I was very open with my co-workers and my student employees about what my family had been through and I felt that it helped in my personal healing process but I never seemed to regain my desire to be working full time. In October of 2016 I brought home our second puppy, Zeus. He is a King Shepherd/Black Lab mix and is now over 50 pounds at 7 months. After 5-6 months of trying unsuccessfully to keep the house clean with our new addition, I realized it was too much mentally. I was always worried about the house staying clean (we were both starting to have chronic sinus issues) as well as get all the grocery shopping done, laundry and dishes cleaned, dinner made every night and continue to be 100% present while at work. My husband already works crazy long hours with a killer commute through the heart of Altanta, GA and the last thing I wanted was to add to his daily stressors with my own worries.
After taking some time to talk about how I was feeling, my husband assured me that he felt he would actually be LESS stressed if I was staying at home full time. That way I would be able to take care of ANYTHING he (or I) needed to in order for our lives to run more smoothly. That was all I needed to hear to put in my two weeks notice. Since leaving my job there are days that I feel I am even BUSIER than I was when I was working but my stress has definitely decreased. I wake up with or right after my husband leaves, make breakfast, feed the dogs, vacuum the upstairs common areas, clean the room(s) on my list for that day, blog a little or answer emails, make lunch, run errands if needed, crochet then start on dinner. So far I couldn’t be happier. Any other stay at home dog moms out there?
Peace. Be Well.